are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
