That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
