I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
