Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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