she woke up with a sticky ear
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
