You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
