i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
