called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
