So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip ๐๐๐
Your skills amaze me
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. Thatโs how you end up in the ER
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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