all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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