okay pat passed out under dana's car
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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