Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Randomize
