Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
