ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize