Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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