apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
