My hair reeks of homosexuality.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
