You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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