Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
