Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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