We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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