I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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