going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
