I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
