office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
