There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
