McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Why can't burritos get me drunk
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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