normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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