My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
