I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize