So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize