ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
