i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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