But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
