Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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