Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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