Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
