If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize