She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I am naked and annoyed.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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