If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
