Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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