is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
