my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
