ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
