still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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