her vagine was all disorganized.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
