She just used a chaser for red wine.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Randomize
