life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
