i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
there was a trapeze. enough said
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
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She even gives head with a lisp.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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