so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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