the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
