found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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