i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
