This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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