Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Dear god my vagina.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
