He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Ketchup is God's man juice
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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