and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
